Ah, the holiday season—a time for joy, laughter, and the annual quest to determine whether Aunt Edna really is the worst gift giver on the planet. This year, instead of wrestling with the blended aroma of burnt turkey and fruitcake, why not sprinkle some humor into your holiday mix? Share these side-splitting Christmas quotes to remind everyone that laughter is the most budget-friendly gift you can give!
The Naughty and Nice Chronicles
Southern Living
“It’s all fun and games ’til Santa checks the naughty list.” – Unknown. Unfortunate news: he’s got a clipboard and a magnifying glass.
“Santa Claus had the right idea. Visit people only once a year.” – Victor Borge. Just enough time to forget how annoying they can be!
“Dear Santa, I was framed.” – Unknown. Just in case you were wondering, I wrote this with a candy cane.
“Let’s be naughty and save Santa the trip.” – Gary Allan. Because who doesn’t love a little holiday rebellion?
Tree-mendous Quotes
Southern Living
“Never worry about the size of your Christmas tree. In the eyes of children, they are all 30 feet tall.” – Larry Wilde. A great reminder for adults, who often measure their worth against Pinterest boards.
“There’s no experience quite like cutting your own live Christmas tree out of your neighbor’s yard.” – Dan Florence. Remember, it’s all legal until you get caught!
“Don’t get your tinsel in a tangle!” – Unknown. Or, as I like to call it, “Every Christmas from here on out.”
Present Predicaments
Southern Living
“Dear Santa, this year please give me a big fat bank account and a slim body. You mixed those two up last year.” – Unknown. Ah, yes, the classic holiday wish list dilemma.
“Nothing’s as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas.” – Kin Hubbard. Ah, nothing says “I love you” quite like socks!
“It’s beginning to cost a lot like Christmas.” – Unknown. A sentiment that ever so slightly ruins the “most wonderful time of the year.”
It’s the Season of Satire
Southern Living
“Christmas is a baby shower that went totally overboard.” – Andy Borowitz. Let’s just hope the wrapping paper isn’t ‘baked’ as well.
“I’m only a morning person on December 25th.” – Unknown. The day we all remember how much we hate mornings—but, you know, with coffee.
“It’s that special time of year when your whole family gathers to look at their cellphones.” – Jimmy Kimmel. Because who needs conversation when you have Instagram?
Family and Frivolity
Southern Living
“A Christmas miracle is when your family doesn’t argue all day.” – Melanie White. Ah, the elusive holiday peace…!
“Christmas, here again. Let us raise a loving cup; Peace on earth, goodwill to men, and make them do the washing up.” – Wendy Cope. Can we add a note to “make them clean the kitchen” as well?
“The office Christmas party is a great opportunity to catch up with people you haven’t seen for 20 minutes.” – Julius Sharpe. You know, just enough time to forget what their name was!
