Once upon a time in October 2022, stand-up comedian Casey James Salengo was juggling nightly gigs like a master circus performer while balancing daytime odd jobs in the chaotic urban jungle that is New York City. As he put it, being a comedian is akin to playing a game of financial hopscotch: “very erratic” when it comes to reliable income. So he did what any rational person would do—he became a part-time Taskrabbit, which is just a fancy way of saying he was about to dive into the world of people’s whims on a platform designed for minor chaos and questionable side hustles.
The Birth of a Taskmaster
After a gentle nudge from a friend, Salengo crafted an online profile that could make even the most monotonous tasks sound glamorous. From assembling furniture to heavy lifting, he offered it all—because who wouldn’t want to play handyman for a suspiciously low price? Imagine charging just $16 an hour for delivery. It’s practically a bargain in this economy, right?
A Delivery Like No Other
And lo and behold, a peculiar gig landed in his inbox—one whose details would later ignite the internet. A man named Ilya wanted something special for his friend Brad’s birthday. The request? “Get the weirdest birthday card you can find.” Ah yes, because nothing says ‘Happy Birthday’ quite like fresh fish and strange sentiments. If you’re going to prank someone, why not do it with flair?
The Art of Card Selection
With gusto befitting a true artist, Salengo ventured to CVS, where he unleashed his inner birthday card sommelier. Bustling through the aisles, he snapped photos of potential candidates, from dancing bananas to a crowned cat, the latter being the pièce de résistance. If only birthdays came with an award for best card selection—this one was already winning.
Fresh Fish and Fisticuffs
Next on his whimsical agenda was a stop at the Blue Water Fish Market, where he was on an important mission: to procure the biggest Branzino available. “And don’t forget to tell them to keep the head and tail!” Ilya ordered, as if these fish features somehow added to the birthday experience. I can only assume Brad’s gift would start a new fashion trend involving fish heads and tails—that’s one way to turn heads at a party.
The Grand Delivery
Finally, with the card and fish in tow, Salengo arrived at Brad’s domicile for the big reveal. But lo and behold, the prank had one last twist: Salengo was supposed to present the fish like an Oscar winner and declare, “Branzino boys for life!” Talk about a dramatic finish! As Brad’s confusion morphed into realization, I can only imagine him pondering his life choices as The Fish Whisperer drove away, leaving behind bewilderment and a lovely fishy fragrance.
Two Hours and $32 Later
In the end, this spectacle of absurdity took about two hours and netted Salengo a whopping $32. Was it worth it? “Absolutely,” he chuckled, likely imagining more such surreal adventures in his future. If there’s one takeaway from this fishy escapade, it’s that side hustles can lead to unexpected hilarity—and a birthday gift that no one will forget.
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