This is a brilliantly adapted excerpt from the Sept. 23 episode of “The Briefing with Jen Psaki.”
Ah, the United Nations General Assembly of 2018—a sacred forum for global leaders where diplomacy shines bright. Donald Trump, that illustrious purveyor of self-aggrandizement, declared that his administration had “accomplished more than almost any administration in the history of our country.” The response? A wave of laughter erupted, echoing through the hall as if the world leaders felt they were witnesses to a first-rate comedy routine rather than a serious political address.
Now, I can’t imagine a more joyous occasion for any leader than being laughed at on such a global stage. However, for Trump—a man who cradles his ego like a precious egg—being publicly mocked was akin to a toddler having their favorite toy snatched away. Truly a tragic tale of a fragile psyche.
Would we even still be discussing a malfunctioning escalator if Trump had taken the stairs and just let it go? A philosophical quandary!
Fast-forward to a few days later when, lo and behold, an escalator decided to play hardball. On camera, as Trump and Melania approached, the escalator sputtered its last breath, leaving the couple staring at it as though it were an ancient relic of technology gone awry. A few bewildered moments later, they made the audacious decision to walk upstairs. Groundbreaking!
Let’s be honest, we’ve all faced this dilemma. The escalator goes on strike, and we just treat it like an old-fashioned staircase—Boring! Yet for Trump, this was an affront of unprecedented proportions. Once on stage, he was still seething and broadcasted, “All I got from the United Nations was an escalator that stopped right in the middle. And then a teleprompter that didn’t work.” Yes, ladies and gentlemen, the President of the United States is escalating the severity of his complaints from international policy to machinery malfunctions. A true statesman.
This escalator fiasco escalated (pun intended) further when White House press secretary Karoline Leavitt felt the need to rally for justice. She posted on X, demanding, “If someone at the UN intentionally stopped the escalator as the President and First Lady were stepping on, they need to be fired and investigated immediately.” An intergovernmental inquiry, people—because it’s clearly a high-stakes crime when escalators betray their Commander-in-Chief!
The Associated Press later reported that one of Trump’s party members accidentally pressed a button that halted the escalator. Ah, the classic case of self-sabotage! It’s the perfect emblem of what I like to call the “Trump Rage Cycle.” The pattern goes like this: A minor inconvenience causes a major meltdown, elevating petty grievances to heights we never thought possible. For example, would we still dwell on a broken escalator if Trump had just taken the high road and walked upstairs with dignity?
Yet the grand cycle continues. Trump has shown us that the response to feeling slighted can extend from outrage to calls for federal investigations. We’ve been subjected to this melodrama over and over and *over* again. Living in the era of an “insecure authoritarian bully” has become a normal Tuesday. A fond memory.
And now, as we witness the ongoing investigation by New York Attorney General Letitia James, we again see this behavior in action. Last year, a civil judgment for fraud came up against Trump, and his response was like throwing a tantrum in a candy store. He openly called for his perceived enemies to be prosecuted. Naturally, his go-to method for coping included ousting a prosecutor to replace them with someone more “reliable”—if you know what I mean.
Just to add a cherry on top, Trump once took offense to late-night comedian Jimmy Kimmel. Standard stuff in politics, right? Yet, the response was a ridiculous spectacle of threats and media manipulation. With these sorts of attentiveness-worthy reactions, it’s astonishing the U.S. doesn’t have a cabinet position devoted entirely to managing Trump’s feelings. It’s a comedy of errors that keeps on giving!
But just when it seems this backdrop could not become more absurd, we enter the shining heroes scene—the end of Kimmel’s six-day standoff with ABC, courtesy of public protests urging Disney to resist Trump’s antics. The people said ‘enough’ and refused to be cowed, and lo, Kimmel returned to air, a victory for going against the grain!
Now, while Sinclair and Nexstar continue their own backstage drama with Kimmel’s show, one can’t help but wonder: with enough pushback, could we eventually turn the tides? Because let’s be clear: when a bully doesn’t face consequences, they return for more. So, let’s arm ourselves with courage and humor, and perhaps keep a staircase handy—just in case the escalators go on strike again.
