Strip Club Shenanigans: A Case Study in Bad Choices
Picture this: a former Manhattanite finds himself running an Albany strip club called Shenanigans—aptly named, if ever there was a place for it. Luiggi Canessa, 46, appears to have taken the club’s motto a bit too seriously, allegedly dabbling in a variety of nefarious activities that even the most seasoned criminals would consider excessive.
According to the ever-vigilant Times Union, our protagonist was caught red-handed selling pure methamphetamine to an undercover FBI informant back in February. Because, you know, being a strip club manager just isn’t lucrative enough without a whole side gig in drug trafficking.
Assistant U.S. Attorney Jonathan Reiner succinctly summarized the situation: “Men would go into Shenanigans as customers and leave as victims.” Talk about a “you won’t believe this deal!” advertisement gone wrong. One might say he transformed the club’s tagline from “Good Times” to “Bye Bye, Wallet!”
Reiner revealed that the hardworking employees of Shenanigans were told to use a little “mixology” on customers—administering secret drugs to incapacitate them while swiping their credit cards. Anyone else feeling a tad bit jealous of this level of creativity? The audacity to charge up to $10,000 while the clients snoozed away is a new level of hospitality.
When authorities finally caught up with Canessa back on April 9, they discovered a treasure trove of firearms, a hefty stash of cash, and a little bit of everything else in his home: cocaine, ecstasy pills, and, presumably, a copy of “How to Be the Absolute Worst Human Being.” How could he have been living such a lavish lifestyle on just $3,000 a month?
Canessa’s lawyer, Jeremy Sporn, presented an interpretation of the case that was, shall we say, gloriously optimistic. Instead of confronting the whirlwind of accusations, he vaguely referred to the notion that a strip club’s antics would “raise eyebrows.” Honestly, eyebrows might not be the only things getting raised when the judge saw the evidence. But let’s not dwell on the details!
In a plot twist fit for daytime television, Canessa’s future looks bleak. A judge ruled he might be a flight risk. Because when you’ve got a history like his, staying put seems like an entirely unreasonable request. Our friend is currently locked up at an Albany County jail, and the FBI is having a field day uncovering a buffet of criminal activities ranging from drug trafficking to wire fraud.
As Canessa gears up for a potentially 40-year stay in prison—as if his last job wasn’t thrilling enough—the lessons learned here might just be: don’t run a strip club, don’t dabble in the drug trade, and, most importantly, if you’re going to commit a crime, try not to leave a paper trail that could fund a small country.
