Mark Humphries: A Comedy Exit Stage Left
In a shocking turn of events, the ABC has inexplicably trimmed the comedic fat, resulting in the departure of Australia’s comic gem, Mark Humphries. His final bow was delivered on this week’s 7.30 Report, where he presumably tried to squeeze in one last laugh before the professionals at ABC packed their bags.
After an impressive five-year tenure that could best be described as “what’s that smell?”, Mr. Humphries and his team received the news via email — because nothing says “you’re fired” quite like corporate ghosting. Apparently, cost-saving measures are best delivered in the form of pixels and unread notifications.
At the end of Thursday’s broadcast, elegant host Sarah Ferguson paid tribute to Humphries and his merry band of jesters, likely while stifling the urge to break into an interpretative dance of grief. The ABC’s decision has left comedy fans reeling, while accountants are practically throwing confetti.
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In a lengthy social media post that no one reads without a snack in hand, Mr. Humphries expressed gratitude to his fans—because who doesn’t love a good dose of irony? “It was an honor to sully the good name of 7.30 for so long,” he quipped, proving that sarcasm is indeed a form of art.
He lamented the lack of scripted comedy in Australia, claiming that being able to deliver a mere 2-3 minutes of it bi-weekly felt like winning the lottery, but without the million-dollar payout. A heartfelt thanks went out to their bosses, Justin Stevens and Joel Tozer—who surely nodded off while reading their emails.
Mark extended kudos to a horde of talented folks who participated in the antics, including established performers like Virginia Gay and even the honorary guest, Kevin Rudd. Yes, that Kevin Rudd—proof that desperation knows no bounds. Not to forget ABC employees who took a break from their “real jobs” to grace the audience with their comedic “skills.”
A note of gratitude was also given to the voiceover artist Rupert Degas, who apparently exceeded expectations every single time. Mr. Humphries thanked countless other ABC employees in various roles, likely forgetting that the very people he celebrated would now be using his sketches as resume references.
As for his future endeavors, Mr. Humphries hinted at a brave new world of “content”—because who wouldn’t want to push boundaries with sketches longer than 3 minutes? “What might that look like? Four-minute sketches? Five? Only time will tell,” he mused, giving a whole new meaning to the phrase, “The sky’s the limit.”
In this comedy caper turned tragicomedy, Humphries has left the stage but not without ample fodder for future sketches. As for ABC, they continue to tighten the purse strings, proving that cutting costs can be just as funny as cutting comedy—at least in retrospect.
