Standup Comedy Meets Game Show Economics
Standup comics map out their sets like master strategists; the strongest joke is the closer, the second-best serves as the opener, and the third-strongest gets to bask in the glory of being the penultimate joke. In my early standup days, I kicked things off with a gem about a family triumphantly winning $1,200 on Family Feud only to face the harsh reality of splitting it five ways. The punchline? “Why didn’t you just go to work that day?” Truly a head-scratcher, right?
Now, let’s shift gears to Greg Gutfeld, a man who doesn’t do standup, yet somehow imagines himself as a comedy titan (one more successful than I ever was, mind you). With his late-night-adjacent Fox News talk show, Gutfeld!, now rebranded as “primetime”—for those who enjoy irony— and a shiny new game show on Fox Nation, he’s got the comedy market cornered. The catch? The prize money in his game show might as well be a joke itself. Perhaps he should have taken a page from my old closer and encouraged contestants to keep their day jobs.
The Isolation Challenge
Greg Gutfeld’s latest creation, What Did I Miss?, is a thrilling ride into boredom, featuring five contestants locked away in a remote upstate New York farmhouse; they’re cut off from the universe—no phones, internet, television, or social media. One contestant fled the coop early (probably after realizing he didn’t sign up for solitary confinement), leaving four brave souls to endure 90 days of existential dread. They eventually return to Gutfeld’s studio for a riveting game of True or False about the first three turbulent months of Donald Trump’s presidency. Surprisingly, the premise is darkly humorous considering the show’s intended audience—Fox News conservatives. However, the actual viewing experience? Not exactly binge-watch material, for various reasons—chief among them being the budget.
The basic premise of What Did I Miss? sounds thrilling: five contestants, 90 days, virtually no contact—$25,000 for one lucky winner. And no, that’s not a typo.
The Price of Isolation
When Gutfeld casually drops by the contestants’ holding cell, he visits the forbidden control room to pester the producers for a wee bit more cash. His efforts yield mixed results; thanks to Lauren Peterson, president of Fox Nation, the prize pool rises to a whopping $30,000. Just imagine the excitement at that news: “I got you an extra 5k! Enough for a round-trip Uber back home!”
To be fair, as every cable news channel apart from Fox will preach, we may very well be staring down the barrel of an economic downturn. Just what every contestant wants to hear after three months in a house with limited entertainment options.
The Grand Reveal
Upon returning to the studio after the grueling 90-day isolation, Gutfeld delivers what he calls “some pretty good news” to the contestants. “I’m like a big deal, you know,” he declares. “Not only did we manage to bump your prize from an astonishingly paltry 25 grand to a still-underwhelming 30 grand, but with some strongly-worded emails—and let’s not forget a couple of heartfelt, if not slightly desperate, phone calls—I’ve raised your total prize fund to a magnificent $50,000!” The contestants’ reaction? A collective shrug that screamed, “Well, that’s something… I guess?”
A Lesson in Economics
To wrap our heads around this whole situation: 90 days equals just under 13 weeks. Working even 40 hours a week at New York’s delightful minimum wage of $15.50 (I’ll wait while you contemplate your life choices), a person would walk away with about $8,000—without voluntarily isolating themselves or pledging allegiance to television-induced dullness. Sure, the eventual winner might get a satisfying prize, but for others, especially those with kids, this may have been a leap into the unknown.
“I feel terrible. I feel like I just spent 90 days of my life for no reason at all,” lamented the first contestant sent packing. “For a thousand dollars, I could’ve ordered pizza and a nice little Diet Coke.” And just like that, Gutfeld’s show reassured us: it was never not self-aware.
The Launch of What Did I Miss?
Greg Gutfeld’s What Did I Miss? premiered on Fox Nation May 12. Episodes two and three graced our screens on May 13 and 14, respectively. Have your popcorn at the ready—you might need it to get through the awkward silences.
