Hot damn! What’s this?
Ah, feast your eyes on the new Alfa Romeo 33 Stradale supercar—because who wouldn’t want a modern homage to one of the finest pieces of automotive art ever thrown together? Designed by the legendary Franco Scaglione, the original 33 Stradale looked like it rolled right out of a renaissance painting, if renaissance painters had a penchant for roaring engines and tinted Italian dreams. Only 18 of those odes to beauty were ever made, making it rarer than your average unicorn. Spoiler alert: it’s a supercar, not a mythical creature.
Please say they’re making more this time around?
You bet! But hold onto your wallets; Alfa will only whip up 33 of these beauties. It’s not exactly a mass production line. They originally teased a choice between a twin-turbo V6 (what we’re testing) or a tri-motor electric powertrain. But it turns out, just like your friend who claims they love kale but only eats pizza, nobody seemed keen on the EV option. All 33 buyers chose the good old-fashioned rumble of combustion. Who knew electric supercars were as popular as, say, rotary phones?
How did you get your hands on one then?
A fair question, and no offense taken! The car at our disposal is Alfa’s own development prototype—let’s call it Chassis Zero, the one that wears the label “Do Not Touch!” on its forehead. It’s been to a posh spa and is nearly ready for public release but just needs a final polish and a touch-up. We had an entire day at Alfa’s Balocco test track. Let’s just say, I’ve done far more strenuous things in my life, like trying to assemble IKEA furniture.
Isn’t this just a Maserati MC20 in a fancy dress?
Ah, the age-old question: is it merely masquerading as a unique entity? The answer is a complex “yes and no.” Both share DNA, like siblings who were separated at birth. They share a carbon tub (at least the bottom half), but the 33 has its own upgraded flair. Think of it as wearing designer while the MC20 is still rocking the off-the-rack number. And while they both have that zippy 3.0-litre twin-turbo V6, Alfa focuses on keeping things simple—no wizardry here, just good ol’ Italian style.
Got any numbers for us?
Oh, you bet I do! The twin-turbo V6 cranks out a hefty 621bhp, weighing in around 1,500kg, which is conveniently about the same as the MC20. Top speed? Just a smidge higher at 207mph—presumably because it felt like it needed to one-up the neighbor. It zooms from 0 to 62mph in a cheeky 3.0 seconds. But let’s talk about the real kicker: it’s priced at a staggering £1.7 million. That’s right, folks—eight Maserati MC20s can fit in that price tag like sardines in a can. Talk about a premium!
Is it proper supercar quick?
Slow? Pfft, please! It’s fast enough to get those adrenaline levels spiking, but I’ve been spoiled rotten by hypercars that rethink the laws of physics. It’s more like “pleasantly speedy” than “hold-on-to-your-lunch-bag” fast. You’ve got that turbo soundtrack—a chorus of roars and whistles that make you feel like the protagonist in a fast-paced movie. But here’s the lingering question: is this twin-turbo V6 exotic enough for a car with a price tag that could buy a small island? Perhaps it’s exquisite but not quite avant-garde.
Does it handle?
Well, it should. Valtteri Bottas himself had a hand in developing this mean machine. Let’s not forget there’s actual racing pedigree behind this beauty. The steering has a delightful weight that gives feedback stronger than your last relationship, and the ride itself is smooth and surprisingly forgiving. It’s perfect for a Sunday drive—though I wouldn’t advise taking it on a date unless your partner enjoys the “carefully-placed-road-hugging-glance.” The 33 Stradale thrives on picturesque B-roads, delivering thrilling little slides while looking every bit the part.
Reckon it’s one of the truly beautiful Alfas?
It strays from ‘traditional beauty’ and veers into ‘daring and eccentric’ territory. It’s like that one friend who you thought was just quirky but ended up being the life of the party. With nods to its original counterpart, it has bulbous headlights and a dramatic design that screams confidence. Those double-hinged doors are pure theatrical flair—who needs a standard entry when you could have a dramatic unveiling every time? It pays homage without being a blatant copy, ensuring you and others recognize it as something special.
Can the interior compete?
Compete? This interior is ready for battle! A million miles away from the MC20’s almost-chic but plasticky vibe, the 33’s cabin screams luxury. It’s all about texture, a philosophy that’s rather refreshing in our gadget-drenched world. From the aluminum and leather steering wheel devoid of buttons (because who needs those?) to the hidden vents that nearly give off spy movie vibes, it’s a tactile feast for the senses. And here’s a little surprise: the rear window is polycarbonate—a nice nod to its racing origins that doesn’t quite show off the engine, but still looks great.
Hit or a miss, then?
Let’s face it: it’s a ravishing crimson Italian supercar, and I can’t help but want to cuddle it. But let’s not forget the absurdity of limiting it to 33 units and charging £1.7 million—a move that’s sure to alienate most Alfa enthusiasts. The truth is, for a company without a wall of fame, it’s far easier to sell a few to the mega-rich than cater to the masses with pocket change. So, while you won’t be spotting one every day on your commute, let’s agree the world is better with one more Alfa supercar on it. It’ll make good fodder for daydreams, at the very least.
