CHICAGO (WLS) — In a scene reminiscent of an intense town hall meeting on a murder mystery TV show, hundreds of locals gathered on Tuesday night to collectively demand the permanent closure of a bar in Garfield Ridge. Grab your popcorn!
This drama unfolded following a not-so-pleasant shooting episode outside the establishment on West Archer Avenue, where one person tragically lost their life and two others were injured. Because who doesn’t love a little chaos during happy hour?
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Apparently, the bar in question decided it was the perfect time to host a reopening party—right before the mishap. Meanwhile, the local alderman wasted no time, filing paperwork the same day to rezone the property for a permanent closure. Because who needs bars when you could have high-end condos, right?
The audience was completely packed, standing room only! Residents voiced their frustration over a neighborhood rocked by violence. As Al Cacciottolo, president of the Garfield Ridge Neighborhood Watch, put it, “We’re taking a stand as a community! No more late-night shenanigans!”
A petition was signed so feverishly that it might as well have been the cast list for a blockbuster movie. This document, of course, called for the closure of the bar formerly known as Halina’s Pub, which now resides only in the memory of local pub crawlers.
“It’s heartbreaking to see this happen,” said Mike Doherty, the neighborhood watch’s vice president, expressing the collective dismay of residents. “Our community deserves better than this Hollywood thriller gone wrong.”
Alderman Marty Quinn detailed how the bar just reopened under a new owner and seemed to have skipped the whole “getting a liquor license” step, which is quite possibly an oversight in the health & safety version of Monopoly. “You have to follow the rules,” he advised—words presumably directed at toddlers across the city as well.
Just as the laws of the universe dictate that bouncers must invariably be armed, so it seems that trouble followed this establishment like a loyal pet. Apparently, a physical altercation broke out, resulting in gunfire between a security guard and two other gentlemen. Nice to know that all safety protocols were evidently not prioritized.
In a plot twist that would make a soap opera writer proud, Alderman Quinn has now filed an ordinance suggesting a change in the zoning of the bar from commercial to residential. So, if you’re in the market for a cozy little condo where you can hear the echoes of past wild nights, look no further!
A voicemail left for the bar’s previous owner went unanswered—just like a good mystery should. Meanwhile, attempts to locate the new owner were met with radio silence. Everyone loves a good ghost story; who doesn’t?
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