Elon Musk’s cadre of youthful DOGE innovators has been revealed, sending shockwaves through the billionaire’s world and raising eyebrows among the MAGA crowd. One of these “visionaries” is a 19-year-old college freshman with a family popcorn empire, which clearly qualifies him as the next Steve Jobs of snack food.
You also have a former Model UN host and a high school kid traumatized by the notion of buying stocks without parental funding. I mean, truly, who needs a degree when you can just be young and enthusiastic about virtual coins?
Musk, apparently unimpressed, took aim at an X account suggesting that the six youths with access to the Treasury’s greenbacks should be “paid a visit” by the FBI. “You’ve committed a crime,” he retorted—presumably the crime of being too audaciously young for the government’s runtime.
Later, he had a change of heart, admitting that maybe the media wasn’t lying about DOGE employing the “best software engineers.” Of course, this was inaccurate as three from the group don’t even hold degrees. One of the few who does has taken his newfound fame and run with it, charging folks to read Substack posts titled “Why I traded a seven-figure salary for a shot at saving America.” Heartwarming!
The entrepreneur squad includes Akash Bobba, 21, majoring in capitalizing on DOGE from university dorms; Edward Coristine, 19, still likely trying to figure out how to balance ramen and stocks; and Ethan Shaotran, 22, who, curiously, has yet to solve the mystery of what a senior actually does at Harvard.
The other “experts”—Luke Farritor, 23, who dropped out of Nebraska for startup glitter; Gautier Cole Killian, 24, who delighted in the collegiate conference world; and Gavin Kliger, 25, who’s patting himself on the back for working at Berkeley—are perhaps best known for their combined lack of government experience, which has sparked quite the political firestorm about their newfound power.
In a bid to cover their digital tracks like seasoned espionage professionals, the six musketeers have been deleting social media profiles faster than you can say “doxxing.” But don’t worry, their names will linger among the cloud like whispers of failed tech startups. Such is life in the world of crypto-funded risks and algorithmic gamble.
As the MAGA universe revolts against the revelation of the young engineers, some are equating this to outright assault. Charlie Kirk, a light in the political dark, questioned why WIRED has traded its investigative prowess for a slip-and-slide down the ageism slope. It’s a classic tale: young pioneers tackling the unrest caused by the seasoned “expert class.” Remember folks, wisdom often comes from those who can’t even tie their shoelaces without help.
