Gov. Gavin Newsom recently unveiled his revised state budget for 2025-26—because what’s more thrilling than watching a group of professionals tiptoe around financial disasters like they’re playing a game of budgetary hopscotch?
Now, don’t get me wrong. This budget season is as serious as a sitcom. Imagine the politicians tangled in red tape, desperately trying to disguise their spending habits like a magician pulling a rabbit out of a nonexistent hat. Spoiler alert: it’s all sleight of hand.
The term “balanced” means pretending there’s enough cash to cover all that sweet, sweet spending. But let’s be real: it’s more “guess what number I’m thinking” than actual fiscal responsibility. Those budget numbers? Just numbers that happened to meet up at the right time and place.
As former Los Angeles mayor and gubernatorial contender, Antonio Villaraigosa, pointed out: “They always cook the numbers.” Why? Because even the most seasoned politicians know how to add a pinch of deception to their accounts. “You can cook it so much it’s unrecognizable,” he said. Well, it sounds appetizing at least!
According to our friendly neighborhood Legislative Analyst’s Office, the supposed balanced budget is about as genuine as a three-dollar bill. They eerily forecast a budget deficit of nearly $18 billion for 2026-27, raising the question: when did we sign up for the financial version of “The Twilight Zone”?
With structural deficits expected to balloon to about $35 billion annually, the exit strategy for the current governor is puzzling. It’s like leaving your children with a houseful of pets while telling them to “just figure it out.” The future governor will surely be in for a surprise when they discover they’ve inherited a financial circus, complete with acrobats who are balancing on a tightrope made of debt.
So what’s the plan? The Legislative Analyst thinks they should simply reduce spending or increase taxes. You know, easy-peasy! But let’s be real: who wants to get on any interest groups’ bad side, especially when they’ve dug in deep? Raising taxes in a high-tax state is like asking a cat to enjoy a bath—it’s just not happening.
It’s a classic case of “kick the can down the road”—or rather, kick the financial crisis into the lap of the next poor soul in the governor’s chair. And let’s not forget about the lengths state officials go to disguise overspending. They borrow from themselves! It’s the budgetary equivalent of shuffling your credit card debt around, hoping you don’t notice it’s still there.
In conclusion, the Sacramento comedy continues as it always has: elected officials happily papercutting their budget jobs while preparing to hand over their mess to someone else. You see, a politician’s job isn’t about fixing problems; it’s about making sure they get to the next election cycle without having their dirty laundry aired. The jokes may be stale, but the subpar budgeting isn’t going out of style anytime soon.
