Shoppers of a rather exotic flavor flocked to the Jervis shopping centre last week, and I’m not talking about the latest vegan, gluten-free kale smoothie. No, these were serious financial players, ready to bid—up to 13 offers, to be precise—for this Dublin gem, subtly sprinkled onto the market by none other than gossip’s favorite developers, Paddy McKillen and Padraig Drayne.
This marks the first time the shopping centre has been up for sale since its unveiling in the glamorous 1990s, right when pop-up stores meant showing up a bit too late to the party and no one was quite sure how to use a smartphone. It’s now one of the last shopping centres still under the original developers’ seductive spell—a real estate rarity akin to spotting a unicorn at a hedge fund meeting.
Among the bidders was a colorful assortment, including the Comer Group and U.S. property investor Hines—definitely the kind of crowd you’d imagine competing over the last croissant at a fancy brunch. Peter Horgan’s Lugus Capital and Patron Capital also threw their hats into this bidding circus, along with David Goddard’s Lanthorn. Because who doesn’t love a little competitive stress? Nothing like seeing a financial showdown over who gets to take home a mall.
The auction followed a recent bidding frenzy for Marlet’s retail parks—because who knew retail parks were the hottest ticket in town? This spectacle attracted a mere ten initial bids, which is barely enough for a group chat, let alone a serious investment. Apparently, during the pandemic, when everyone was hoarding toilet paper and questioning their life choices, retail forgot its lines but is now stealing the show once again.
The real estate power vacuum has attracted investors at lightning speed, with America’s Realty Income spending a staggering $950 million on the Bellagio casino (yes, that’s a casino, not a mall) and then trying its luck with eight retail parks in a €220 million deal. Willingly betting their money on retail seems like a hedge against actually trying to understand Bitcoin, so can we blame them?
Post-pandemic, the idea that brick-and-mortar was on life support turned out to be as true as those “Fifty Shades of Grey” movies—one too many. Recent statistics declare in-store spending has risen by 2%—an increase that probably shocked the boardrooms of online retailers, who peered over their blue light glasses, wondering what went wrong. Perhaps people are tired of staring at screens and realizing that a shopping cart doesn’t come with ice cream Sundays and chatty cashiers.
Retail Excellence Ireland’s chief, Jean McCabe, noted that customers are rediscovering the joys of a tactile shopping experience. Apparently, sunning at home on one’s couch in loungewear has gotten old. Retailers, therefore, are pretending to open more stores to achieve “economies of scale.” Ah yes, the beloved jargon of business—making money while we all pretend the pandemic didn’t happen and that masks are the new haute couture.
In this competitive landscape where retail parks are the current flavor of the week, buyers are chasing bargains as if they were characters in a bizarre financial scavenger hunt. And to top it all off, it seems no one wants to grab a cup of overpriced coffee in a shopping center that isn’t facing a charming view of a parking lot they’ve never had to navigate. So here’s to the thriving retail scene—the plot twist no one anticipated, where the only things vanishing are the notions of how we thought shopping would fade away.
