Ah, the world’s wealthiest ego, Elon Musk, is feeling a bit prickly these days. It seems the 87-year-old literary giant, Joyce Carol Oates, took a poke at our favorite billionaire by questioning how one can accumulate such mind-boggling riches and still manage to be “totally uneducated, uncultured,” and utterly indifferent to life’s finer pursuits. In a classic Muskian response, he dismissed her with a barrage of witty insults, calling her a “lazy liar” and “an abuser of semicolons.” He further suggested that “eating a bag of sawdust” would be a delight compared to enduring Oates’ “laboriously pretentious drivel.” Apparently, the sawdust industry could use a boost from some of Musk’s wealth.
But wait, there’s more: young pop sensation Billie Eilish recently took her turn under Musk’s skin. During her acceptance speech at the Wall Street Journal’s Innovator Awards, Eilish mischievously asked, “Why do billionaires exist?” before expertly advising them to “give your money away, shorties.” Sadly, Mark Zuckerberg, another notable “shorty,” did not share the enthusiasm and reportedly failed to clap. Maybe he was busy calculating how to turn his dinner into a billion-dollar startup.
Fast forward to Eilish’s Instagram stories, where she directed a sharp tongue toward Mr. Musk. She shared a post highlighting pressing issues Musk could solve with his wealth and then authored a gem of a comment: “etc…. fucking pathetic pussy bitch coward.” Clearly, she didn’t hold back. One can only imagine her scrolling through his Twitter feed while sipping her kale smoothie and wondering why rich people can’t just be nice for once.
Not one to resist a challenge, Musk hopped onto Twitter. Responding to a fan account that had the audacity to feature Eilish’s critique, he put forth his brilliant observation: “She’s not the sharpest tool in the shed.” Oh, the irony! An individual whose primary skill lies in market speculation aiming to assess the sharpness of someone else’s tools in their shed. Perhaps he mistook it for a gardening forum.
The thing is, pop stars aren’t necessarily required to be astrophysicists or social revolutionaries. But it would be delightful if actual societal leaders stepped up and tackled the issues at hand so that pop icons didn’t have to bear the burden of stating such obvious truths. One can wonder about Eilish’s IQ outside the realm of catchy songs, but let’s face it—Musk isn’t precisely the authority on intelligence here.
Famous individuals, take note: the world needs more of you pointing out that Musk is, in fact, a “fucking piece of shit idiot.” Your words are like gold to those of us still tethered to reality. The more you call it like you see it, the more rattled he seems to become. Perhaps he’ll eventually realize that being a billionaire comes with the obligation of some degree of humanity—or at least a functional moral compass.
So while Elon navigates his own emotional fallout, let’s hope that the next pop star who takes the stage isn’t just dishing out catchy tunes but also taking some real swings at the money-mad mismanagement of resources. Until then, please, we invite everyone to keep the critiques of Musk coming. After all, wealth shouldn’t shield anyone from public scrutiny—especially not those who seem to forget that humanity is worth more than their latest tech gadget.
