Strange times at the Jervis Shopping Centre last week, where the foot traffic was less about retail therapy and more about an auction showdown. The mall, a cherished relic of the ‘90s, attracted up to 13 first-round offers, as if it were the last pair of trendy sneakers on sale.
After lying low on the market like that one sweater you can’t bear to part with, the shopping centre was officially outed by its owners, Paddy McKillen and Padraig Drayne. This particular gem hasn’t seen a for-sale sign since it was unicorn-delivered from the dreamland of developers in the 1990s, making it the last shopping centre still owned by its creators, a bit like a vintage vinyl record in a sea of streaming.
Among the bidders were some heavy-hitters: the Comer Group, US property investor Hines, and even David Goddard’s Lanthorn, all of whom seemed to collectively suffer from a severe case of “I must own the last slice of retail pie!” The shopping centre auction followed a feeding frenzy for Marlet’s trifecta of retail parks, gathering ten bids like kids at a candy store.
Retail, it seems, is still riding high on the investment scene—who knew? While everyone else was crying into their lattes during Covid, retail managed to flip the script and make a grand comeback. In fact, estate agents suggest that retail accounted for half the value of all property deals this year. They must be holding secret parties where clothes racks are applauded for their resilience.
US-based Realty Income, fresh off a $950 million investment spree that made even Scrooge McDuck raise an eyebrow, decided to flex its shopping muscles by snagging eight retail parks from Oaktree Capital. With Marlet’s retail park portfolio now on their greasy radar, one wonders if they’ve also invested in a box of tissues for those losing bidders.
Reports of the demise of physical stores were—surprise!—greatly exaggerated. AIB’s latest retail report dropped the bombshell that in-store spending rose 2% compared to last year. This is like finding out that your favorite coffee shop never actually closed but just was on a particularly long vacation.
So, what gives? Jean McCabe, CEO of Retail Excellence Ireland, had a theory: “Customers return to stores for the experience.” This revelation is the equivalent of saying, “People visit fine dining restaurants for the food.” Retailers are busy opening more stores to achieve economies of scale—forget about saving the planet; the focus now is on resale economies, and guess who’s warming up the shop floors? Enter Brendan McDowell, founder of BPerfect Cosmetics, who conveniently forgot that he started online, now with 13 physical stores. It’s like a plot twist you see coming from a mile away.
In conclusion, retail may not be the apocalypse we once feared. The humble shopping centre, once ridiculed as a dying breed, is transforming like a caterpillar to a butterfly—or maybe just a DIY kit that teaches you how to cope with environmentally concerned teens raiding your store. The market remains a wild frontier brimming with opportunities, a true survival of the fittest amid rising vacancy rates, changing brands, and increasingly complex retailers battling for your hard-earned cash.
