EXCLUSIVE: Well, folks, if you were hoping for yet another sex comedy to grace the granite shores of the Cannes Film Festival, your dreams have come true! Michael Angelo Covino’s latest offering, *Splitsville*, is strutting onto the scene with a budget that can only be described as “ambitious”—around $15 million, which is basically chump change in Hollywood. The film features Covino himself, his producing BFF Kyle Marvin, and A-listers Dakota Johnson and Adria Arjona, because, let’s be real, who else would want to be associated with a film named *Splitsville*?
Neon International, which apparently has a thing for international markets, has snatched up distribution rights in France (thanks, Metropolitan!), Benelux (hi, The Searchers!), Latin America (cheers, Sun!), and Portugal (kudos to Pris Audiovisuais!). And just when you thought they were done, Neon has set an August 22 US release date so you can experience a man’s existential crisis—perfect for your mid-summer breakdown.
*Splitsville* marks Covino and Marvin’s grand return to Cannes after their last wild ride, *The Climb*, which premiered in 2019. Who needs a solid track record when you have a production company named Watch This Ready with a former Verve agent as your ally? Clearly, these two are ready to conquer the indie film world—one awkward premise at a time. They already have at least two more projects lined up, because clearly, mediocrity loves company.
“We aim to create timeless, wildly entertaining, and artfully commercial content,” Covino declared with the earnestness of a child at a lemonade stand. Cannes, presumably a ‘pure cinema’-filled paradise for him, is a far cry from painful months of watching filmmakers wait for screenings at the IFC Center. Can you blame him?
The genius minds at Watch This Ready slapped *Splitsville* together with support from Topic, their creative partners who seem to thrive on projects with questionable titles. Neon saw the script early, which means they must either be incredibly insightful or enjoy living life on the edge. After an impressive 24-day production stint in Montreal (also known as the “New York of Canada”—just don’t tell anyone), the film was completed with assistance from what we can only assume are magic Canadian incentives. Not to mention, Johnson’s TeaTime Pictures joined the fun as a co-producer. Nothing says “serious cinema” like a tea party.
“*Splitsville* exemplifies a beautiful formula,” Covino mused. Yes, a formula where you strategically align everything so you aren’t left in the lurch after the credits roll. This magical networking approach—where partners, marketing, and distribution teams are involved from day one—could lead to results much more favorable than yelling into the void as most filmmakers do.
In a shocking twist, Covino and Marvin’s friendship dates back an astonishing 15 years, during which they moved from producing commercials to films, including the 2016 Tribeca film *Kicks*. Marvin, who also directed the universally beloved *80 For Brady*, claims they are aiming for “ambitious” heights. Ambition? In Hollywood? What a concept! The odds of stumbling into the land of mediocrity again seem higher than ever.
The partners at Watch This Ready live in a world where optimism reigns supreme and where the noise of Donald Trump’s tariffs barely distracts them from their noble quest to redefine indie filmmaking in a post-pandemic society. Fellow Cannes attendees will find it refreshing, or at the very least, mildly amusing.
“The industry has faced five challenging years filled with uncertainty,” Korteweg explained, invoking images of a dystopian film where all narrative coherence vanished. “Now, we need to focus on recalibrating to a healthier industry, where collaboration trumps conflict—across states and borders.” Because if there’s anything Hollywood excels at, it’s turning conflict into profit. Good luck with that, gang!
