Ah, movie promotions in the modern age: where the lead actors strut about on talk shows not only to hype their films but also to gently remind audiences to lower their expectations to subterranean levels. Enter Priyanka Chopra, who seems to have taken a leaf from her Bollywood contemporaries, preaching to her new Hollywood circle that her latest venture, Heads of State, is merely an easy-breezy Friday night distraction. Spoiler: it fails even at that lowly standard.
Directed by Ilya Naishuller—previously known for action-packed feats like Hardcore Henry and Nobody—Heads of State is that kind of cinematic fare that flits past your vision, dodging your ability to critique it and dissipating through your ears. As with Naishuller’s earlier works, this film serves better as an idea than as a realized product. Picture this: John Cena as the President of the United States, Idris Elba as the British Prime Minister, and a cameo by Priyanka as a covert MI6 agent, whose purpose is as vague as a politician’s promise.
The script, allegedly crafted by the masterminds behind some mega-budget fiasco, now revived under the watchful eye of the Russo brothers, feels akin to a half-baked birthday cake: frosted but lacking substance. The first act of business for the new Prime Video chief was to bury that cinematic disaster. Now we find Chopra kicking butt as a secret agent, albeit without any clear motivation, as she materializes in a plot that plays out like it was poorly scrawled on a back of a napkin.
So, what is the plot? A plane carrying Cena and Elba’s characters crashes in Belarus due to a mid-air attack. Spoiler alert: they survive. Yet, for reasons that remain shrouded in mystery, they cannot simply announce their safety to the world, which could have made their whole ordeal quite dull. The duo, along with Chopra later in the game, wander through the scenic Baltic region bickering like an odd couple while heading toward Italy for a NATO summit. Because, of course, that’s exactly how world leaders would roll.
And why not livestream their survival? Imagine the Twitter frenzy! Yet, in the universe of Heads of State, we are to accept this glaring plot hole while the trio encounters band after band of seemingly irrelevant adversaries, leaving us clueless about who the actual villain is—is it a rogue state? The script? The very concept of logic itself? Instead, we are treated to what feels more like a collection of comedic skits than a cohesive narrative.
Featuring a villain, played by Paddy Considine, who might as well been an extra in a completely different film, the chaos of Heads of State resembles a half-hearted attempt at international relations, sprinkled with uninspired jokes. The interaction between Cena and Elba lacks spice, like a cocktail without alcohol—pleasant but ultimately forgettable. You might even picture some overzealous screenwriter typing away, churning out 15 versions of the same dad joke, unsure which would land.
In a movie set against the backdrop of political theatrics, the narrative barely skirts around the significant turmoil of our time. Cena’s character teeters on the brink of parodying Trump, but only offers superficial commentary without any real punch. Meanwhile, Elba’s character takes himself seriously but otherwise lacks depth, reduced to a love interest trope. The result? A film that invites you to scroll through your phone rather than engage with its lackluster drama.
Ultimately, Heads of State is less a cinematic adventure and more an invitation to multitask while something uninspired scrolls across your screen. You could probably arrange your grocery list or catch up on that article you’ve been meaning to read instead. Once upon a time, “brainless” films at least took care to entertain (hello, Main Hoon Na!), whereas this latest offering sprawls out like a confused leader lost in the mountains.
Heads of State
Director: Ilya Naishuller
Cast: Idris Elba, John Cena, Priyanka Chopra, Jack Quaid, Paddy Considine, and others
Rating: 2/5
