KARACHI, Pakistan — In a plot twist that only 2023 could conjure, the body count from the inferno at a shopping plaza in Karachi has skyrocketed to 67. Yes, you read that right—while shops were closing, the fire apparently had its own plans for a grand finale.
According to police surgeon Dr. Summaiya Syed, recovery teams are still wandering through the charred remains of Gul Plaza, where the chaos began on a fine Saturday. Apparently, flames and shopping are a deadly mix—who knew retail therapy could be so explosive?
Identification of the remains is about as straightforward as assembling IKEA furniture without instructions. With most remains found in fragments, Dr. Syed has confirmed 67 deaths, up from the previous 34. Senior police official Asad Raza chimed in because, well, who doesn’t love a good round of “we’ve confirmed another tragedy”?
Meanwhile, the relatives of the unfortunate missing souls have taken up permanent residence near the crumbling plaza and local hospitals. Despite providing their DNA—because it’s not like they were in a horror movie already—some have tried to barge into the building themselves. “What are rescue teams doing, having a tea party?” demanded Khair-un-Nisa, who lost a relative in this shopping catastrophe.
Saadia Saeed added a personal touch to the drama, lamenting that her brother had been trapped in the burning spectacle since Saturday night. “I’m ready for a DIY rescue mission, but the police say ‘no.’ Such a party pooper!” she said, showing all the enthusiasm of a reality show contestant vying for a rescue medal.
Authorities, in a dramatic twist, have yet to respond to charges of procrastination. Family members insist that had the government moved faster, there might’ve been fewer headlines about charred bodies. But hey, nothing screams “all hands on deck” like a police cordon around an unstable structure, right?
The fire ignited at the royal hour when shopkeepers were either wrapping up their days or had already abandoned ship. Now, around 70 folks are still on the “missing list,” thanks to the flames devouring everything from cosmetics to girdles. Talk about a shopping spree gone wrong!
As for the fire’s origin—investigators are scratching their heads. A short circuit? How ingeniously mundane! Karachi, of course, has a rich history of fiery mishaps due to safety standards that make “What Could Possibly Go Wrong?” seem like a valid business model. Remember the November 2023 shopping mall fire? It was a “smokin’” good time, leaving us with 10 fatalities and a lovely selection of injuries. And don’t forget the 2012 garment factory fire, which made history by claiming at least 260 lives. Retail therapy has never been this deadly!
