The CEO’s Daily Dilemmas: Climate, Tariffs, and That Ever-Elusive Flight
Good news, folks! It’s Tariff Day, which is kind of like Christmas, except instead of gifts, everyone just gets slightly poorer. And guess what? The markets are taking a collective nosedive today—who saw that coming? (Spoiler: Everyone.)
In today’s thrilling episode of “As the Market Turns,” analysts from ING and UBS are chatting about tariffs, while Goldman Sachs attempts to predict how many jobs will be left by the end of the day. Spoiler alert: they are not optimistic. But don’t let that dampen your coffee break gossip. Fortune has the juiciest news right at your virtual watercooler.
So here I am, penning this piece not from the bustling streets of Toronto, but curled up in my New York apartment, thanks to my flight’s untimely cancellation due to thunderstorms. Mother Nature must’ve had a particularly bad day; however, really, is anyone surprised? 2024 is heating up like a microwave burrito on a summer day, and let’s not even talk about Japan’s recent high of 41.2 degrees Celsius. Sounds like a BBQ, not a temperature reading.
In a plot twist that no one asked for, the U.S. Department of Energy released a report trying to convince us that climate change is just a friendly suggestion. It’s like your friend who shows up to dinner with a half-eaten pizza and says, “Here, I saved you the crust.” For some actual insight, however, consider diving into the report titled “Supporting Extreme Health Risk Governance.” Yes, it literally sounds as boring as it reads, but at least it doesn’t involve downplaying the apocalypse.
Feeling powerless against climate change is so last year—let’s take that energy and funnel it into creating new policies that morning coffee really can’t help you with. It’s about adapting to this ‘warming’ situation; after all, if we can make an app for everything, surely we can figure this one out, right? Leaders, you’re in a prime position—think of yourselves as climate warriors but with business casual clothing. Try not to trip over your own tie as you save the world.
Speaking of climate warriors, let’s talk about Spencer Glendon, the economist who’s far too optimistic for these times. He frequently helps Fortune 500 leaders navigate the treacherous waters of business and climate change—maybe he can throw in an occasional life raft as well? Mark your calendars for September 23, when we’ll host a climate dinner for C-suite decision makers, sponsored by Deloitte, who we promise does exist beyond our newsletter.
On a final note: Once upon a time in Nairobi, I tried my hand at comedic writing for a UN exec. My big idea was to throw in jokes about desertification, but it turns out that joke-telling about barren land isn’t exactly crowd-pleasing. It’s like trying to lighten the mood during a funeral: “Awkward!” But Mostafa Tolba, my esteemed mentor, taught me that humor might just pave the way for serious dialogue. Who knew humor was the secret ingredient to problem-solving? Perhaps we should try it on the job numbers today and see if they start trending upward.
