Taxes and Death: The Unholy Trifecta of Life
Ah, the age-old adage that nothing is more certain than death and taxes has been given a flashy upgrade. Thanks to Nirmala Sitharaman’s Finance Bill, we’ve now discovered a delightful twist: cryptocurrency transactions are getting taxed! Yes, folks, you can’t escape death—but you can rest assured that tax season is even more menacing. Grab your snack and sit tight; it’s about to get interesting.
Legally Alive: The Tax Myth
Now, one mustn’t assume a person is truly dead until the paperwork is complete. Meanwhile, our Finance Minister has conjured a way to levy taxes on an asset that hasn’t even received a nod of approval from the legal gnomes in the country. How’s that for existential dread? Cryptocurrencies are evolving faster than you can say “Bitcoin,” suggesting taxation may be the ultimate inevitability—funnier than a cat meme, if you ask me.
The Wild World of Cryptos
Since the dawn of Bitcoin in 2008, the digital currency landscape has exploded! We’re talking about around 8,000 cryptocurrencies now frolicking about in cyberspace, presumably enjoying their freedom. Curious enough, El Salvador has even rolled out the Bitcoin welcome mat as legal tender, which has raised eyebrows in places like China where cryptos are as welcome as a skunk at a garden party. Meanwhile, in India, cryptocurrencies are in limbo—waiting for Parliament to decide whether they’re hip or just a passing fad.
Crypto or Not, Money’s All the Same
The current crypto craze is amusing because, technically, every currency is crypto—just a figment of collective imagination and bank balances. Ever since currencies hopped off the gold standard, starting with Britain’s fashionable exit in 1931, we’ve been living in a dystopian landscape where money is as tangible as my dreams of being a professional juggle-wrestler. Before, currencies had some bling; now, they’re just shiny promises waiting to break your heart.
A Rich Tapestry of Monetary Tokens
Ah, the glorious history of trade! Since ancient times, we’ve traded everything from salt (yes, Roman soldiers loved their seasoning) to cowrie shells, which are as durable as a rock but much better for glamming up your paperweight shelf. Cowrie shells were practical and tangible. Can you say the same about crisp bills with promises stamped on them by faceless bureaucrats? If only those notes could double as a good luck charm or a personal assistant!
Fiat: The Great Illusion
And speaking of promises, what’s the ‘value’ of those rupees? Is it the same as two decades ago? If so, it’s a value that forgot its medication. All currencies, including fiat ones, rely on the best-kept secret: the “complicity of make-believe.” Maybe that’s why cash has so many aliases—dough, bread, filthy lucre… because who wouldn’t want their money to sound more appetizing?
The Fun in Fungibility
Let’s not forget, money is fungible! Note the emphasis on ‘fun.’ It’s all based on whimsy and not-so-serious worth. All cash is, at its core, funny money, susceptible to the cosmic jest of overnight demonetization—humankind’s ultimate inside joke. And who wouldn’t want to gather around a barrel of monkeys, laughing at the absurdity of it all?
(Disclaimer: The opinions expressed in this column are solely those of the writer. The facts and opinions expressed here do not reflect the views of www.economictimes.com.)
