Winning the lottery is about as likely as being struck by lightning—while holding a sign that says “I love rain.” In January 2018, Fortune dropped the truth bomb that your chances of snagging the Powerball jackpot are a staggering 1 in 292.2 million. At that rate, you might find it easier to launch a successful campaign for President of the United States or open a movie starring role.
Yet, thrill-seekers still flock to buy those tiny slips of hope—wasting perfectly good money. So, if dreams of financial freedom dance in your head, let’s take a look at 17 scenarios statistically more likely than your Powerball dreams coming true. Spoiler alert: they’re absurd.
1. Meteorites: More Likely Than Winning
According to CNBC, you have a better chance of being annihilated by a meteorite than hitting the jackpot. The odds of meeting your untimely end thanks to a celestial rock? About 1 in 1.6 million. So, if the sky seems ominously dark, maybe it’s not just weather—it’s your favorite lottery ticket watching you from the trash can.
2. Bill Gates or Bust
Ever fantasize about becoming the next Warren Buffett? Good luck! Ironically, you’ve got a better shot at belly-flopping into billionaire status in the U.S.—1 in 409,000, according to The Record. Meanwhile, around 10% of Americans have the audacity to call themselves millionaires. And millennials? A hopeful 34% think their bank accounts will one day sparkle with seven digits. Spoiler: it’s not from the lottery.
3. Flying High? Not So Fast!
If flying makes you nervous, this stat might do wonders for your anxiety: your odds of dying in a plane crash are about 1 in 20 million. So, buckle up, ignore the crying baby and just pray your seatmate shares fewer snacks than you do.
4. The Buzz of Death
Bee stings are painful, but fear not! The chance of a hornet, wasp, or bee putting you in a coffin is only 1 in 54,093. Unless you’re allergic, in which case, never wear floral prints again.
5. Saintly Aspirations
Think you’re up for sainthood? According to Gregory Baer in “Life: The Odds,” you’ve got about the same chance as being struck by divine lightning: 20 million to one. You could always aim for Pope—just a casual career change!
6. The IRS Isn’t Out to Get You
Tax time feels excruciating, but fret not—your chances of being audited are a mere 0.6%. That’s less than the risk of your Wi-Fi dropping during a streaming marathon. Unless you claim 50 kittens as dependents, you should breathe easily.
7. Presidential Perks Are Overrated
If you dream of leading the nation, your odds of becoming President are about 1 in 32.6 million. Frankly, that job rarely includes a robust benefits package—mostly just blame from every direction.
8. Convicted? Not So Fast!
Scared of wrongful convictions? Late Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia estimated a 0.027% chance. But depending on who you ask, your odds may be dramatically worse. Still better than bagging a lottery ticket!
9. Fame & Fortune
Sure, every star has an “overnight” success story, but getting your face on the big screen isn’t easy. According to labor stats, the average pay for actors is around $32.89 an hour. Better yet, you’ll find more hope pursuing an acting career than winning the lottery. Just don’t forget to bring your best audition tape, and a lavishly expensive ticket to Los Angeles.
10. Identity Crisis
Data breaches happen more often than you change your socks. According to a Javelin report, 6.64% of consumers experienced identity theft in 2017. Sign up for credit monitoring, or just don a tinfoil hat; your call!
11. Shark Attack? Don’t Hold Your Breath
Here’s a bright side: your chance of being killed by a shark is about 1 in 3.7 million. But in a pinch, you could always try winning the lottery. Much safer, right?
12. To Infinity and Beyond… Maybe
In 2017, NASA received over 18,000 applications, with a less-than-glamorous acceptance rate of 1 in 1,500 for astronaut trainees. Safe to say, your ever-so-cool friend might want to reconsider becoming an astronaut instead of banking on lottery luck.
13. Hole-in-One Hopes
Did you know that scoring a hole-in-one is statistically easier than winning the lottery? Professional golfers have about a 2,500 to 1 chance, while amateurs fare even worse. Swing away—just maybe skip the lottery line.
14. Bounce Off to the ER
Pogo sticks are the unsung heroes of injuries. Your odds of landing in the ER due to one of these bouncy contraptions are about 1 in 115,300. Feeling lucky? Grab a pogo stick, but do leave the lottery tickets at home.
15. Olympic Dreams?
Your odds of winning an Olympic gold medal? A mere 1 in 662,000. But if you hail from Liechtenstein, well, you might just have a fighting shot—at least until you get tangled up in curling.
16. Surviving the Heat
Summer fun could land you in trouble. The National Safety Council suggests you have a 1 in 16,584 chance of dying from excessive heat exposure. So, hydrate or die-drate—and maybe avoid the lottery while you’re at it.
17. Rare Twins
Your probability of birthing conjoined twins? A quaint 1 in 200,000. Meanwhile, regular identical twins happen about 1 in 250 times. So, maybe consider a lottery ticket as your backup plan?
So there you have it—17 alternatives to the lottery that are laughably more plausible. Save your cash and reconsider how you plan to reach those millionaire dreams. You might just find wiser, more rewarding investments in your life!
