The masterminds behind the delightfully inappropriate world of South Park—Trey Parker and Matt Stone—have secured a fancy five-year deal with Paramount Global. How heartwarming! This partnership promises us more of the grotesque, profanity-laden humor we’ve grown to love featuring Kyle, Kenny, Cartman, and their colorful companions. But wait, there’s a twist! This latest—wait for it—27th season, cheekily mocks their financial backer by throwing shade at Paramount’s dealings with Donald Trump.
In a world where irony is oftentimes just a fancy name for reality, Paramount, the proud owner of CBS, recently settled for a staggering $16 million with Trump over allegations of their news program, 60 Minutes, snipping and splicing his interview into something unrecognizable. Who knew that Parker and Stone could sink their teeth into such juicy, real-life drama? Picture this: the new series opens with jittery news anchors announcing Trump’s legal skirmish against the fine folks of South Park. Just when you thought they were done, Jesus drops by to remind everyone to steer clear of the president. Oh, and let’s not forget the scandalous bedroom scene with Trump and Satan—though it’s probably best we don’t delve into that in our typically family-friendly narrative!
Meanwhile, over in the green hills of the BBC, a new epic saga is set to unfold in King and Conqueror, a lush retelling of the Norman Conquest, starring Nikolaj Coster-Waldau (fancy seeing him trade his sword for a crown) alongside James Norton. We’ve got battles, we’ve got mud, and yes, we even have Norton bellowing, “Today we take victory!” I mean, if only wishes were horses, mate.
As for reality TV, ITV seems to be taking the opportunity to swap out tired human labor for the magic of AI. They’ve rolled out a high-tech tool to assist with casting for the infinitely introspective Love Island. So, instead of a beleaguered intern sifting through a sea of bronzed bodies, a computer now gets the pleasure of doing so. Truly, we live in an age where a machine can judge the buffness of humans—what a time to be alive!
Now, shifting gears from sun-kissed Love Islanders to the ever-cheeky Channel 5, who have decided drama can now spring from the whimsical premise of a former UK detective, Dennis Crown, seeking peace in a barsy Benidorm. Naturally, his peaceful existence is interrupted when tourists start kicking the bucket, resurrecting him back into detective work. Called Death in Benidorm, this one sounds like it could be an instant classic. Cue the eye-rolls from those who feel we’ve seen this play before!
As we bid adieu to some beloved series, the finesse of Chris Lang’s Unforgotten might soon become a nostalgic memory, as he announces that the forthcoming seventh season could likely be his swan song. After churning out 42 episodes, it’s understandable he wishes to avoid the groundhog day of plot recycling. Originally intended to kick off with the utterly forgettable title 27 Arlington Crescent, it has now blossomed into a series that actually intends to stay memorable.
Lastly, in this chaotic mosaic of media wonders, it appears Doctor Who might dodge the proverbial bullet for now. Sources whisper that Disney has yet to decide if they’ll renew their multimillion-dollar deal to keep the Whovian magic alive. So, while they might be contemplating the future of Time Lords and tardises, let’s just say that a regeneration of the franchise is never off the table—after all, time is quite elastic in that universe.
