Illustration: Cryptical Hit
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Navigating the Financial Circus
Oh, the plight of the financially literate! Picture their phones lighting up with messages from friends and relatives asking urgent financial questions, like “Can I buy an NFT?” (Oh, sure, right after I take my pet goldfish surfing). “Should I invest in GME and AMC?” (Great idea! Who needs a stable economy when you can be part of a meme revolution?). “What is a SPAC?” (It’s what happens when you put a bunch of wizards in a corporate shell and hope for the best). “Can I SPAC GameStop with NFTs?” (You mean you want to mix metaphors with your investments? Bold move!)
Money Absurdity: TikTok Edition
Every scroll through TikTok uncovers a fresh financial oddity: teenage stars backpedaling from their endorsement of a Star Wars–themed cryptocurrency that turned out to be a total scam, while a trader known as DeepFuckingValue charms Congress with tales of stock market shenanigans. Enter Akon, who dreams of a city powered by his cryptocurrency—because why not? Meanwhile, Dave Portnoy, of Barstool fame, dives headlong into meme stocks, all while being trailed by odd tabloid stories that somehow affect his investments more than actual market trends. And who could forget Beeple? No, he’s not a new dance move; he’s the digital artist cashing in on animated GIFs worth millions. And in this bizarre financial fever dream, Shaquille O’Neal just casually launched a SPAC, because we all know a basketball legend is a natural fit for corporate finance.
The Money Mutation Crisis
What’s really at play here? One might be tempted to peg it all on the pandemic-induced economic leaps and bounds. “Look, Ma! I’m investing!” seems to echo from the screen as people trade stocks and marvel at NFTs instead of focusing on more traditional American pastimes like football. Will we ever get back to the normality of betting on the Jets to cover that 10-point spread? Fingers crossed—or do we really need a vaccine for that?
A New Definition of Money
For most of us, money was that ominous thing that dictated where we lived, what we ate, and how much free time we could afford. It used to be scarce, a treasure to hoard like Gollum with his ring. Experts warned us that financial mismanagement would lead to economic apocalypse—wheelbarrows of cash just to buy a loaf of bread! But now, money seems to have taken on a new life, where fortunes can spring up and disappear in a blink. The GameStop saga might leave some feeling giddy yet uneasy—kind of like realizing your Tinder date is a tax auditor.
The Miracle of Free Money
Let’s not ignore the 156 million Americans who received a windfall from Uncle Sam. Those checks, totaling $372 billion with zero strings attached, might have felt like a miracle to many. “Free money? From the government? Is this a prank?” Yep, you could buy groceries or, indeed, unleash your inner day trader—truly a tale for the ages!
The New Currency of Attention
If you wanted a moment that marked the hilarious detachment of money from reality, look no further than Ben Bernanke’s infamous 60 Minutes interview. The Fed chair grinned as he explained how the money “has no basis in reality”; it’s just numbers on a screen. It was like watching a magician reveal his tricks—“Look, folks! It’s all an illusion!”
In Search of Meaningful Currency
If money isn’t a neutral arbiter of value, then what’s it really all about? In the aftermath of past financial crises, theories surrounding money gained momentum—from Bitcoin’s anarchic idealism to Modern Monetary Theory that reads like a trippy math class. Suddenly, terms like “universal basic income” and “cash payments” became cool, even to the financial elite. Everyone from Marxists to libertarians hopped onto the bandwagon—perhaps they thought they’d find common ground over a shared emergency meeting about what inflation really means.
The Wild, Wild West of Money
What these radical theories highlight is that money is alive again. After the 2008 crisis, established economic frameworks were tossed aside like last year’s smartphone. As if money could take steroids and muscle up, the pandemic has forced us to reconsider what it means to hold value in a time when Twitter users can create or destroy fortunes with a witty hashtag.
The Future of Finance: Who’s Laughing Now?
If this past year has revealed anything, it’s a much more entertaining financial reality; money now appears capricious. We sit in an interregnum of wealth, where NFT bidding wars happen alongside economic debates about what money truly is. Are we taking directions from Silicon Valley where everything needs to be “disruptive,” or is there a new currency rising? And amid this, meme stocks remind us: why save money safely when you can flip it quicker than Elon Musk on Twitter?
A Final Thought on Money’s New Life
Maybe Bernanke wasn’t just a lucky Fed chair; perhaps his lighthearted quips hint at a deeper truth. As we navigate this absurd financial landscape, we realize for most people, money now lives on our screens—a digitized mirage, a figure on an app. Gone is the tangible idea of currency; today, it’s just a virtual dance—a number fluctuating without a care.
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