The presidency of Donald Trump, much like a bad sitcom, drew its curtains on November 7 when Joe Biden was declared the winner of the 2020 election. On that fateful day, Trump tweeted about holding a press conference at the Four Seasons in Philadelphia. Spoiler alert: he meant Four Seasons Landscaping—a stunning venue located near an adult bookstore and a crematorium. This mix-up, akin to asking for a five-star meal and ending up with fast food, left many wondering whether his campaign was run by well-meaning buffoons. Meanwhile, Rudy Giuliani took the stage to spin wild tales of voter fraud. We can’t be certain if it was all part of a master plan or a colossal blunder, but oh, what a spectacle it was!
Fast forward a few decades, and history classes will recount Trump’s presidential escapades alongside key lessons about lies, corruption, and the sheer absurdity of it all. Will future students really believe that a U.S. president suggested injecting bleach to combat a pandemic or that a hurricane was altered with a Sharpie just to save face? Let’s not forget the dishwasher saga—those poor machines were apparently designed for marathon runs. Trump’s self-described status as a “very stable genius” now feels almost charmingly usual. But really, what were we thinking?
For nearly five years, we’ve been chronicling Trump’s more entertaining moments, resembling notes in a madman’s diary rather than records of historical significance. Going through these chaotic nuggets after his loss was akin to stumbling upon a trove of erratic personal reflections. So, here we present them—not for remembrance but to sweetly usher you into forgetfulness about the absurdity of the last four years.
Critics often claimed that Trump’s peculiar tweets and corny schtick served as distractions from more sinister matters, like his questionable conduct and policy. However, some moments defy explanation, standing out as the icing on the bizarre cake that was his administration. These snippets capture the moments that were absurdly comedic in a time that felt overwhelmingly tragic. Through these tales, we aim to provide a collective chuckle—as if to say, “Yes, that happened, but let’s not dwell.”
“His Idiot Doctor”
In December 2015, amidst doubts about Trump’s fitness (read: lack of exercise and junk-food diet), his campaign trotted out Dr. Harold Bornstein. In a letter that could only be described as charmingly absurd, Bornstein declared Trump’s lab results “astonishingly excellent” and even suggested Trump might be “the healthiest individual ever elected.” Fun fact: Bornstein later admitted that Trump dictated the letter. So, this isn’t just any doctor; it’s a stylized stroke of genius—or should we say, a quack attempt at a presidential health prophecy?
“The British Airplane Groping Witness”
In the wake of the Access Hollywood scandal, a woman claimed Trump groped her aboard a flight in the 80s. Enter Anthony Gilberthorpe, whose “I remember” spiel was overshadowed by his colorful past of hiring underage boys for Tories. He claimed Trump acted like a gentleman; alas, for all his photographic memory, this particular detail seemed to have blurred over time. Methinks he might have been reading a different script!
“The Aircraft Carrier That Wasn’t”
In April 2017, Trump boasted about sending an aircraft carrier armada to North Korea. Days later, it turned out the ships were 3,500 miles away and participating in exercises with Australia. “Armada” in naval terms apparently means “sailing in the opposite direction.” But why bother with facts when one can whip up a master narrative, right?
“Kissing Everyone”
Finally, in the throes of COVID-19 on October 12, Trump felt “so powerful” just days after his hospitalization. His desire to “kiss everyone” was less of a public health plan and more of an invitation to an awkward game of musical chairs. Rest assured, no one’s asking for a seat at that table anymore!
