In a twist that surprises absolutely no one, Hollywood’s favorite action figure, Tom Cruise, is gearing up for another project that promises to reach wallet-busting heights. Following the massive success of Mission: Impossible – The Final Reckoning, which left viewers questioning their own sanity and finances, Cruise is back with a new endeavor.
At the wise age of 63—where many opt for gardening or knitting—our dear Tom is instead plunging into a black comedy with a budget that could potentially fund a small country (or at least a very lavish coffee shop). Rumor has it that the flick, titled Digger, is set to feature a cost of at least $125 million, although Puck’s own Matthew Belloni raises an eyebrow at that sum, suggesting it’s more likely to be waiting for a budget reveal on a dramatic reality show.
Just to put this in perspective, MI8 flaunted a budget of around $400 million; as if Cruise doesn’t already have too much money to hide beneath his perfectly coiffed hair. I mean, I once considered investing in gold, but clearly, I should’ve just gotten in line behind Tom with my piggy bank and a “count me in for the next pricey adventure” card.
Directed by the esteemed Alejandro G. Iñárritu, whose films often have more emotional weight than an afternoon crying session while eating ice cream alone, Digger will feature Tom in prosthetics—a creative choice that could either be groundbreaking or set back the scientific community by decades. So brace yourselves for a visual treat where you may struggle to recognize the leading man.
The plot thickens like my grandma’s gravy: Cruise, playing the world’s most powerful man (hooray for typecasting!), must face the consequences of his actions while attempting to save humanity. To those keeping score, that’s right up there with choosing a salad over fries—an admirable yet daunting task.
Joining Cruise in this comedic escapade are notable names like Riz Ahmed, Emma D’Arcy, Jesse Plemons, John Goodman, and Sandra Hüller. Let’s hope they have their own insurance policies to cover the risk of laughter-induced injuries. After all, when Tom Cruise is involved, you never know what might combust on set.
Let’s not forget, this is Iñárritu’s first English-language film since the critically-acclaimed The Revenant. That cinematic masterpiece earned accolades aplenty, somehow convincing audiences that watching Leonardo DiCaprio struggle against nature is more uplifting than an episode of Friends.
As the industry gears up for Digger, one thing is certain: Tom Cruise will quite literally have us digging deep into our pockets again. But hey, at least it’s not another sequel, right? Cheers to creativity that costs more than my entire life savings!
