Today, President Donald Trump will host a soiree at his posh golf retreat just outside Washington, D.C. But let’s be clear: these aren’t your typical guests. No heads of state gracing the lawn—just a swarm of wealthy benefactors ready to fatten the Trump family coffers. And who needs state pomp when you have crypto millionaires?
The evening’s elite are the top 220 holders of Trump’s $TRUMP meme coin, a digital treasure that’s as valuable as a baseball card—if only baseball cards didn’t require actual physical skill. Collectively, these astute traders have raked in about $150 million of this entirely hypothetical asset. Who knew financial wizardry could come in meme form?
Interestingly, each transaction has been a money-maker for Trump’s crypto venture. It’s like a double scoop of soft serve—deliciously profitable for the Trump family and a boon for his already inflated net worth, thanks to skyrocketing prices of the coins they’re hoarding like the last slice of pizza at a party.
In an exciting twist of irony, this meme coin contest illustrates Trump’s Olympic-level ability to use public office as a playground for personal profit. It’s as if he learned from his first term that leaving money on the table is a cardinal sin for someone wearing a make-believe crown.
Intriguingly, Trump has casually lamented that it was “stupid” of him to listen to government ethicists who advised against blending public duties with private gains. Because why should he be bound by the whole public service thing when he can have a money-printing machine right in the Oval Office?
In fact, Trump is so enamored with the idea of sticking it to ethics that he’s made it a public sport. Just recently, he expressed gratitude for a proposed $400 million 747 aircraft, calling it a generous “gesture” from Qatar. After all, who wouldn’t want a luxurious sky palace?! “I might be a fool to turn down free air travel,” he quipped. Clearly, the line between personal preference and public duty is becoming increasingly fuzzy—like trying to draw a straight line in a funhouse mirror.
While traditionalists might be clutching their pearls at Trump’s blatant self-dealing, he remains resolute that “a deal is a deal.” To him, hefty gifts from foreign powers come with zero strings attached—like free samples at your local grocery store where everyone walks out with more than just a complimentary cheese cube.
Whether it’s a lavish jet or hefty investments from suspiciously wealthy foreign entities, one thing is clear: Trump is living in a world where the only thing more elastic than the truth is the concept of ethics. In the grand arena of Trump Economics, the national interest and personal profit coexist peacefully, like a cat and a laser pointer, and you can bet your best meme that it leads to some dizzying antics.
