America’s New Statehood Jokes: The 51st and 52nd States
When U.S. President Donald Trump suggested making Canada the 51st state, many Canadians responded with laughter—mostly nervous laughter, akin to when one of your uncles tells a slightly off-color joke at family gatherings. Fast-forward to Trump’s whims about acquiring Greenland, and it seems the humor has drifted straight into the territory of ‘this is actually terrifying.’
Enter William Long, Trump’s nominee for U.S. ambassador to Iceland, whose latest quip suggested the Nordic nation should take a seat at the table as the 52nd state—presumably so he could rule from a warm beach somewhere. One Icelandic lawmaker remarked that, while perhaps said in jest, these comments are as welcome as a snowstorm during a summer barbecue. A petition has surfaced, demanding the Icelandic foreign minister toss Long’s nomination into the chilly waters of the North Atlantic.
“These comments may be light-hearted in tone, but they land with all the grace of a moose on ice,” noted the petition, which has garnered almost 5,000 signatures faster than you can say, “Icelandic sovereignty.” With a population of just 400,000, that’s a lot of discontent over a half-hearted joke. It’s like if every last person in a small town suddenly got upset about the local bar’s karaoke nights.
A Sorry Shamble of a Humor
Long’s “funny” remarks reportedly came while he was reminiscing with colleagues about a mutual friend, Jeff Landry—who, according to Long, should obviously be governor of Greenland because… why not? In a world where a CEO can moonlight as a superhero, why can’t a mere ambassador lay claim to island rulership?
But alas, the laughter didn’t echo back like he anticipated. As Long tried to smooth over the faux pas with a non-apology—because “my bad” is all the rage these days—he said, “I was simply joking, and if anyone took offense, I apologize.” Right, because nothing says “I respect you” quite like a backpedal after igniting an international scandal.
Serious Concerns Masked as Jokes
Sigmar Guðmundsson, an Icelandic MP, wasn’t quite ready to brush off Long’s commentary. He claimed that these quips project a troubling sentiment from larger nations toward smaller ones. In his opinion, serious security concerns for Iceland shouldn’t be tossed aside with a wink and a nudge.
It’s almost as if Long’s comments reflect a classic misunderstanding, much like thinking fondue parties are still a thing because you saw it in a 1990s movie.
Greenland: The Crown Jewel of Negotiations?
Meanwhile, Trump continues to press his case for Greenland with the kind of fervor usually reserved for your dad trying to talk you into joining a pyramid scheme. Trump insists that controlling Greenland is key to U.S. national security, insisting that “anything less is unacceptable.” You know it’s serious when he’s ready to throw tariffs around like confetti at a wedding.
Iceland’s Nonchalant Dismissal
As for Iceland, their Foreign Minister Katrín Gunnarsdóttir remains steadfast, claiming their relationship with the U.S. is “excellent.” Except for the part where they metaphorically shake their heads at the latest ambassadorial antics. “Are we worried about being next on Trump’s shopping list? Not just yet, but we’ll keep the receipts,” she quipped. After all, it’s always good to have a little humor on the side to wash down the bitterness of geopolitical tensions.
The Ironic Spotlight
Long’s mix of well-intentioned, albeit misguided, humor may not land as intended, especially when weighed against the backdrop of military maneuvers in the Arctic and latent U.S. ambitions. Perhaps next time he’ll stick to classic dad jokes about lawn care instead of suggesting statehood to nations that pride themselves on their independence.
In a world that often seems clocked in a perpetual state of absurdity and disbelief, Long’s ambitions remind us that sometimes, the best punchlines are grounded in good old-fashioned diplomacy—and not a populist joke about governance. Who knew international relations could be a stand-up comedy routine? Perhaps Iceland dodged a real bullet here, or should we say a ‘polar bear?’
